A Forum for Pictures, Videos, Comments, Debate, Discussion, and DISCO!!!!
1/13/2008
Wow, thanks Trip, I won't sleep for a week. I'm assuming for your POW stay, you mean they'll lock you in a room and loop those commercials until you crack, no? So on a lighter note, I thought I'd show you guys last semester's paintings. Yes, they should be taken w/ a grain of salt, but please refrain from making too much fun. If you do insist on that, however, I'll go ahead and inform you that I've embedded these images with schlomo particles.... Just what are schlomo particles and what do they do? Well, when activated, they affect each individual differently.... Mr. Hillis, you'd be sterile, whoops, did I say sterile? I meant impotent. Mr. VanCleve, no one would believe a word you say (now that's jumping the gun a couple of years I know, but these things happen). And Mr. Voss, you're third generation-status would be terminated: you are no longer your father's son. So, let's think before we speak, yes?
So....today I did all the initial paperwork and met with the entire loadmaster section.....and, as of now, it’s looking like I'll be holding up my right hand and signing my life away at the beginning of February. It was interesting to see just how well respected my dad was at the base and how excited all the loadmasters were to have the 3rd generation of the Voss family to join the Guard. It was also interesting answering questions from the recruiter which included..."Have you ever worn women's clothing?", "Do you wet the bed?", as well as making me give a detailed history of my drug use (which I edited down to, "I smoked marijuana twice in High School..."). After I'm sworn in, I will leave for basic training around AUGUST for 2 months (which incidentally is in fucking TEXAS...Which should be about the same comfy temperature as liquid fucking magma!!). Then, I go to loadmaster/flight training for 4 months, which is also in Texas. After that, it's 21 days of survival training in Spokane, Washington.....which means for 3 weeks, I have to build make-shift shelters, slit squirrel throats for food, and then, to wrap it all up...spend 6 days as a POW, which most likely will include being starved, psychologically raped, and, worst of all, having my beautiful face being slapped around. Finally, it’s back to Memphis, Little Rock, or upstate NY for C-5 training which means 5 months of constant flying. Now then, so that all of you fully grasp the drama of me enlisting, I am including a powerful, epic, masterpiece of a music video by the legendary, hall of fame bound, troubadours of Rock....3 Doors Down!!!! Actually I saw this during the preview for The Orphanage (DISAPPOINTMENT...think The Village, and Ross you should remember my thoughts of that movie) and I could not quit laughing....As, I watched this comedy, I decided instead of explaining to people why I joined the Guard, I would just carry around a boom box and play this overwhelmingly cheesy song by those irrelevant, one hit wonder douche bags who obviously are now just willing to do anything for a buck...3 doors down...and here it is:
Just wanted to wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR in 2008 (passing over "2000-and-great," in case you're already sick of people saying that, not me though since I feed off of good, positive energy...).
Mr. Hillis, congratulations on your new baby boy and what looks like an amazing family! I'm thrilled to hear you've turned into a blissful, fertile existentialist auditor.
So there's no way I can match that, but since you asked, I'll give you an abbreviated rundown of my existence, anchored by my economically enlightened decision to go into painting. So I am now a pseudo-student at the U. of M, and if I'm lucky, that'll turn into graduate status in the not-too-distant future, if not, I'm sure I'll be updating you my plan FMA. And that's about it from the House of the Opposite-of-Exciting.
Matt, how'd your semester turn out? Hope you were pleased.
Mr. Voss, any progress on this bass business? Seriously, sir, hop on it b/c I've got a whole list of piano-bass duets we can rock out, starting with one I penned titled "The Gospel According to WHAM!" Think about it.
Wow, thanks Trip, I won't sleep for a week. I'm assuming for your POW stay, you mean they'll lock you in a room and loop those commercials until you crack, no? So on a lighter note, I thought I'd show you guys last semester's paintings. Yes, they should be taken w/ a grain of salt, but please refrain from making too much fun. If you do insist on that, however, I'll go ahead and inform you that I've embedded these images with schlomo particles.... Just what are schlomo particles and what do they do? Well, when activated, they affect each individual differently.... Mr. Hillis, you'd be sterile, whoops, did I say sterile? I meant impotent. Mr. VanCleve, no one would believe a word you say (now that's jumping the gun a couple of years I know, but these things happen). And Mr. Voss, you're third generation-status would be terminated: you are no longer your father's son. So, let's think before we speak, yes?
